The Magic of Singing Together: Mirror Neurons, Trust, and the Human Voice

By Jessica Cooper

As a professional choral singer for over 15 years, I’ve stood inside a sound that is greater than the sum of its parts—rich with overtones, breath, and intention. Singing works like Bach’s St. John Passion in a finely tuned ensemble is nothing short of ecstatic. When every voice aligns, pitch and rhythm lock in, and the whole group inhales and exhales as one organism, something incredible happens: our mirror neurons fire. We enter a shared flow state. Time suspends.

This is the magic of singing together. And science is starting to catch up with what singers have long known in our bodies: communal music-making builds trust, strengthens social bonds, and calms the nervous system.

Why It Feels So Good to Sing Together

Research shows that when people make sound together—whether humming, toning, or singing—their heart rates and breath patterns begin to synchronize. Dr. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory describes how these experiences of co-regulation create feelings of safety and connection by stimulating the vagus nerve.

Singing together is a kind of ancient nervous system technology. It activates the parasympathetic “rest and digest” system, reduces cortisol levels, and increases oxytocin, the hormone associated with bonding.

An Evolutionary Advantage

Anthropologist Stephen Mithen argues in The Singing Neanderthals that music-making may have been a defining factor in human evolution. Homo sapiens, unlike Neanderthals, developed systems of rhythmic, melodic communication that promoted cooperation and cohesion. In this view, group singing wasn’t just an art form—it was survival.

Programs like Music Together build on this idea, emphasizing that shared musical experiences are a cornerstone of early human development and one of the reasons we’ve thrived as a species.

What This Means for Singers Today

Whether you're a professional, a hobbyist, or a shower-singer, your voice is part of something much older and more profound than we often realize. Singing together doesn’t just sound good—it feels good, in part because it reconnects us with our evolutionary need for resonance, belonging, and collective presence.

So the next time you sing with others—whether in a choir, a circle, or a spontaneous hum with a friend—notice the way your body softens, your breathing deepens, and your sense of connection sharpens. That’s your nervous system remembering what it’s always known: your voice belongs.

Jessica is a voice coach, artistic director, and ensemble singer with a passion for exploring the intersection of music, presence, and well-being.

References and Influences:

• Jonathan & Andi Goldman, The Humming Effect

• Dr. Stephen Porges, Polyvagal Theory

• Stephen Mithen, The Singing Neanderthals

• Music Together: www.musictogether.com

Think, Breathe Speak!

This blog is also featured on Public Words and was co-written by Nick Morgan and Jessica Cooper.

“Actually, it’s like, really, you know. . . .” Are you a user of filler words?  Almost everyone – except the heaviest users of them – agree that they are annoying. But why do we use them if we all agree they should be eliminated?  And what should we actually do about them?

First, let’s make a few distinctions.  It may surprise you to learn that the research shows that when you say, “ah” or “uh” or “um” as a way of filling the space while you think of what to say next, you increase your audience’s comprehension of what’s coming.  They listen more attentively because they think that if you’ve put some effort into choosing the right word or phrase, then it’s probably worth paying attention.

Filler words, on the other hand, such as well, like, you know, actually, really, and kind of – these words have been around since the Middle Ages, and their purpose is to soften what comes next, to make it less precise.  So, when your teenager says, “It was, like, midnight when I got home,” she is saying “it wasn’t exactly midnight, I’m not saying that.  It was near or roughly midnight.  It might have been 12:15. Or even a little later.”

It’s simultaneously true that your teenager is irritating in these moments AND her linguistic equivocations are filling a real purpose.  She’s negotiating with you to reduce her punishment for coming in late.

Moreover, it’s all a question of, you know, degree.  If a speaker uses a “like” or a “kinda” rarely, then we won’t notice – or if we do, we will probably forgive them.  It’s when the ‘likes’ and ‘you knows’ pepper every sentence that we start to tear our hair out as listeners.

Thus, because speakers mostly want to be precise, compelling, and vivid communicators, they should seek to avoid most filler words most of the time.  And attempt to use the “ah, um, uh” minimally so that they retain their purpose of stressing the word that comes next rather than merely being annoying.

If you’re on board with the program of reducing filler words and grunts, then, let’s dive into how to do that.  To help, I’m bringing in Public Words’ vocal expert Jessica Cooper.  Jessica is a professional singer, voice coach, and impresario.

Nick:  Thanks, Jessica, for helping us out with this perennial problem.  Let’s jump in.  Why do we speakers have such a hard time letting go of these filler words and sounds?

Jessica:  It’s a result of not practicing a very important approach to a presentation – and that is “think, breathe, speak.” By developing a good embodied speaking technique along these lines, speakers can rid themselves of those sneaky filler words.  I encourage speakers to practice a technique that embodies both words and vocalism. Through a conscious, rehearsed approach to spoken words, you can learn to hear (audiate) the words before you say them. Those pesky filler words just don’t fit into the equation of “think, breathe, speak!”

Nick:  OK, you’ve got my attention.  Please explain!

Jessica:   In rehearsal, you can hone the language so that it flows more naturally – as if you were just talking – except you know what is coming. As humans, the 3 things we all do naturally, without thinking, are that we: 1 -think of/ conceive what it is we want to say, 2- we breathe in the air for both the length of the message as well as the energy (tone) for the associated emotion, and 3- we speak the words with the pitch and cadence to enhance our intent. Let me expound further – when we think of what we are about to say, we have an idea of what we want to get across, so we take a big or small breath accordingly. If you are going to be loud or soft, you take a breath according to the tonal quality or dynamic (loud or soft) you will use. Vocally speaking, this is an important pattern to codify as a rehearsal tool, because it will shape your delivery. It’s the same in singing – there is phrasing, meaning and tone in the words that are being performed.

Nick: Excellent.  So, it’s in rehearsal of your speech that you can prepare to deliver the message in a compelling way, one where the tone matches the meaning of what you’re trying to say.

Jessica:  And the opposite is true too:  when audiences hear those pesky filler words, they will likely think that you are nervous, or may not have as great a grasp on your subject. In fact what’s happening is that you didn’t have the words in your head completely before taking the breath – so the filler words came as your brain was catching up. The “think, breathe, speak” triage is for me of utmost importance when you want to deliver a compelling, crisp, confident message.  You don’t want to sound like a hesitant teenager!

Nick:  Do you have any other thoughts to add?

Jessica: Yes! When we get nervous,  the mouth goes dry, and we lose breath.  We can expect that to happen and plan for it.  There are breathing techniques and ways of mitigating “dry mouth” that can be rehearsed and planned for.  The most essential point here is that it is really about rehearsing with intention and with an embodied approach.

Nick:  Thanks, Jessica!  We’re excited to have you as part of the team.  Those who decide to receive vocal coaching for their public speaking will get to work on breath exercises, tone exercises, and how to apply them to spoken words – the whole journey to achieving a confident, compelling speaking presence.

Programming to Change the Way the World Hears Classical Music

While I was a student, I’d select my concert repertoire from music libraries, without a thought as to whether or not the sampling of composers at my disposal - deemed as “legitimate” repertoire - came solely from a male dominated, Eurocentric view. Though the pendulum began to swing away from these trends decades ago, the pandemic has truly accelerated efforts towards making a more inclusive, vibrant swath of music that features diverse composers, cultures and idioms - inclusive of gender, race and human experience - accessible to all. Vocal arts based organizations are now heavily focused on the task of being anti- racist - promoting voices that represent the wider swath of human experience, and taking big steps in programming and hiring practices to remedy the imbalance. Music organizations are re-programming the way audiences hear music. And that is an AMAZING thing!

Here are just a few exciting and worthwhile databases and projects that aim to diversify our auditory performance experiences:

Kassia Database: A resource for singers, teachers, performers, and the supporters of art song by women composers.

African Diaspora Music Project: ​The mission of ADMP is create a repository of music; to provide access to scores; to encourage research, exploration and performance of new works; to assist student competitors; to promote and uplift the contributions made by African-Americans to art song, be they composers, performers or scholars. Art song here is defined as belonging to the tradition of Western art culture.

Graphite Publishing: Graphite promotes talented composers and quality new music. “Some concert music pushes musical frontiers but compromises audience comprehension and enjoyment. Some tips the scale heavily toward accessibility. Graphite evens the balance by cultivating excellent composers who can write vocal music with distinction and craft and yet is still accessible to the artist and audience.”

The Institute for Composer Diversity: The Institute for Composer Diversity works to encourage the discovery, study, and performance of music written by composers from underrepresented groups.

Indictus Project: “Giving voice to overlooked and under-represented classical music” Indictus’ mission is to record, perform and promote the music of women, minorities, and other marginalized and neglected composers throughout history.

It is exciting to see so many professional organizations and musicians taking on the mantle or responsibility to remedy the wrongs of colonialism and contemporize many voices that have been ignored for too long.

Yay to our classical music orgs- we are making progress!

Living with the Voice

Last week I was invited to co-write a blog post with professional speech coach and author, Dr. Nick Morgan. Dr. Morgan’s book, “Can You Hear Me?” is a Washington Post bestseller that helps people communicate clearly and effectively in the virtual world- something that has become particularly important since the Coronavirus pandemic has pushed meetings of all kinds into a virtual setting. Public speakers and singers have a lot in common as voice professionals, and the following advice is good across the board:

Nick:  Thanks, Jessica, for speaking to me about this essential subject.  Let's get right into it.  What are the things a singer -- or speaker -- needs to do to take care of their voice for a long-term career?

Jessica:  Okay, getting right to it! Anyone who relies on their voice for their livelihood must prioritize their vocal health.  I recommend the following three things:

1.     Understand how diet and stress impact the voice

2.     Keep your vocal muscles toned with routine vocal exercises

3.     See a laryngologist BEFORE you need to!

The stomach is often the culprit for much of the hoarseness that voice professionals experience, and maintaining a low acid diet is key to consistent good vocal health.  Laryngologists often prescribe the “GERD diet,” (or “reflux” diet) to professional singers to prevent voice loss due to reflux. The GERD diet is a high PH diet that eliminates desiccants, ups the hydrating foods and necessitates keeping food out of the stomach at night- no food for three hours before lying down. It’s really important to remember that reflux is cumulative and can cause laryngitis or pharyngitis: both of which have long recovery periods, and for obvious reasons, could affect your performance!

If your voice is healthy, and you are aiming for longevity and endurance (lots of speaking/ singing gigs), then having a regular practice that enforces good vocal technique is like putting money into the bank. There is a great saying, “spend the interest, not the capital,” and that can be applied to the voice.  Regular warm ups are “deposits in the bank!” Strengthening the vocalis, and getting the brain ‘hooked up’ with your diaphragm through focused breathing exercises are sure fire ways of developing a more powerful and effective voice. A great way for public speakers to kickstart this is to take a series of singing lessons from professional, and then establish a routine.

A good laryngologist is the voice professional’s best friend. If you are the kind of person who regularly finds it difficult to speak with a clear tone, this step is important. Getting “scoped” by a voice doc can provide clues into your vocal health that allow you a personalized approach to caring for your voice. You don’t want your first trip to the laryngologist to be the day before your big talk!

Nick:  And what are the traps to watch out for?  What can endanger a voice?

Jessica:  Remember that your voice is a myo-elastic, aerodynamic instrument that is inside of your body. We can’t really help that our most important asset- our voice, is inside of us, experiencing our environment, our diet and stress levels.  

Things you CAN help, however, are:

1.     Don’t shout or yell- things like trying to talk over loud rooms can cause damage. 

2.     I’ve already mentioned the GERD diet, so generally avoiding things that are acidic or drying to the vocal folds is important. Desiccants include alcohol, smoking, fatty and spicy foods, coffee, soda/ sugary drinks

3.     Not knowing what is “inside,” meaning: you haven’t seen a laryngologist to learn about what natural anomalies your voice may have.  

Nick:  How can a speaker make his/her voice stronger and more compelling on stage?

Jessica:  Your voice is the most expressive tool you have as a human being - not just because of the power of words, but because the voice reflects human emotion and can elicit empathy more powerfully than any other communicative part of our body (facial expression/ hand gestures). As a voice teacher, I have the pleasure of working with singers, who have the advantage of having the musical phrasing written into the words they are performing. Finding an optimal timbre, and using pitch inflections is key to having an effective speech. However, in order to be perceived- or heard- as authentic, its necessary to take it one step further. Having an emotional connection to what you are speaking about will add an authentic cadence that cannot be manufactured. Be a storyteller. 

Nick:  What do you look for (or listen for) in a voice?

Jessica:  Every voice is unique, but the most pleasing voices are balanced – meaning they have both a bright, and a warm quality. In art terms, “chiaroscuro” is used to describe the balance and contrast present in a good painting. It translates literally to, light-dark.” In the opera training world, it means that a singer has achieved the nasal resonance needed to project the voice and be heard (light, or bright), while maintaining enough space inside the mouth to have a roundness, and warmth (dark). 

Nick:  What's the single most important thing I should do starting today to care for my voice?

Jessica: Follow all of the instructions in this blog! ;-)

Nick:  Thanks, Jessica!  

Singing in a Virtual World

On March 13, when our worst fears were realized, it became apparent that we would not be able to proceed with planned concerts for the remainder of the 2019/2020 season. Many organizations found themselves scrambling to find ways to switch their planned concerts over to virtual, though many (most) were forced to cancel or postpone. In acts of heroism, a long list organizations paid their musicians anyway- either partially or in full. It has become clear that we will not be “back to business as usual” for the coming season, forcing larger companies to re-imagine their concert seasons, to include a mix of pre-recorded and live-streamed events, and for artists to re-invent their performances via virtual mediums.

Performing artists are accustomed to creating an aural and visual world in space and time, and with an audience that arguably becomes a part of the performance. On the stage, we can sense our audience and we feel an energy in communication and empathy through performance that does not happen in any other way. I am sure that our audiences know this. They come to “feel” the music, and vicariously live through the performance in that moment in time, to be transported and transformed.

It is a scientific fact that choral singing (okay, okay- and getting together for sporting events and cheering for the same team) is a shared experience that puts people “on the same wavelength.” Singing (or cheering/ emoting) together in a group releases endorphins and our mirror neurons begin to act together. Brains literally become ‘synced’ - firing neurons at the same time, and people’s brain patterns line up.

Imagine spending intensive time periods with colleagues and friends, learning note patterns and dynamics, unified by a single director who is inspiring them all together to simultaneously convey the meaning of a text, phrase the music, finally adding an orchestra who has also been carefully aligned artistically/ emotionally to play that music in the same way. Speaking as a musician, the experience of that alignment is transformative; it is pure emotion combined with discipline, I would even say it touches the height of the human experience. That transformative communal experience cannot happen any other way, and most musicians are grieving that loss right now.

But, we are also doing what we do: re-imagining our art in ways that are unexpected, joyful and designed to keep us connected.

Call us back to our art. We are ready.

Affirming Identities through the Arts

Artists change the world.

As author Peter Block describes in his book, Community: The Structure of Belonging, beyond its literal definitions of ownership and membership, there is a third meaning to the word “belonging.” Beyond those definitions, belonging can also be thought of as:

“…a longing to be. [And] being is our capacity to find our deeper purpose in all that we do. It is the capacity to be present, and to discover our authenticity and whole selves... [and] community is the container within which our longing to be is fulfilled.”

The arts are a place where we share our creative longings and expressions with the world, a place where our identities begin to matter individually as a part of the whole. Through the arts, marginalized voices and uncomfortable subjects can be amplified safely, and create deeper empathy and understanding of socially difficult issues and identities through the power of expression and communication.

Historically, the performing arts - especially theater -have supported deeper inquiry into subjects that can be otherwise difficult to broach or even name, the contemporary mirror-issues of today which could be subjects such as “Black Anger” or “Violence on the Queer/ Trans Body.”

In 2018, I discovered “playback” theater - a type of theatre that tackles empathy and healing directly. Through a medium designed to build community and grapple with current social issues using improvisation and movement, True Story Theater broaches difficult subjects in their interactive performances, telling people’s stories of stigma, or how they’ve suffered because of their social identity (e.g., because of disability, race, religion, ethnicity, being gender non-conforming, age.) Their work affirms our humanity, and uses the stage in a powerful and immediate way.

As teachers or performers, we have the ability to bring awareness to difficult issues of social identity and belonging through the safe medium of art, and we seek to challenge and inspire creative spaces of social inclusion and courageous sharing in a socially acceptable way.

We speak to our unique human experiences, we tell our stories, we help others to find their voices. That is how we change the world.